iPhoneKing

Not evil twin to theiPhoneBlog.com Week in Review, not an invasion by Fake Steve, This Week in Smart Phone Schadenfreude brings you all the feel-better news you need about the smartphone world outside Apple’s current media dominator. (Who knew there was such a world? We were just as surprised! Inelegant, interface challenged, keyboardy, crashy, single-touchy place — best not to linger…). Join us as we mock review the big news from last week at our sister sites. Everybody loves sibling rivalry!

Windows Se7en

Microsoft is still the only real game on the planet, especially when it comes to business, what with their whopping 90%+ share of the market. And as Bill Gates rides off into retirement, he can be justifiably proud at how close he came to his dream of a computer on every desktop and in every home. In that light, his swan song with longtime crony and internet “monkeyboy” dance phenom Steve Ballmer at the “D” All Things Digital was particularly poignant this year, especially given that they chose to use the event to showcase their next generation OS to the public for the very first time.

What groundbreaking new features did they show off? What killer new technology was highlighted? Was it WinFS, the revolutionary all-registry all-the-time file system they’ve been promising since the code-name “Cairo” vaporware of yore? Was it MinWin, the ultra-small, ultra-modular kernel that will return some long absent agility to the platform? Was it a complete revamp of the horrible mishmash that passes for an API stack, cleansing 8-bit fossils and 16-bit artifacts, providing something uniform for the 64-bit future? Was it a renewed focus on their core business users, streamlining bloat and minimizing eye candy in favor of virtualized compatibility and blazingly fast architectures moving forward?

Nah uh.

It was 10 finger multi-touch paint. 10 @#$%ing finger multi-touch paint! Are you kidding me?! From the team that brought us the big @$$ table, we get nothing of the future promised us for decades by Microsoft, nothing by way of making up for the titanic PR disaster that has been Vista, nothing that may convince consumers who are routing towards the Mac in ever increasing droves, and businesses who are stubbornly clinging to the terribly outdated XP or jurassic 2000, to hold out for a better tomorrow. No. We get 10 @#$%ing finger multi-touch paint and yet another in the endless string of failed Gatesian prognostications about interfaces, inks, and whatever else makes him think tablets have been a booming success for over a decade. (Word to Bill - the only thing even remotely resembling a tablet that’s even approached a modicum of cultural penetration is — wait for it — the iPhone, and it wasn’t made by Microsoft).

But what does Windows Se7en have to do with Smartphones, you may ask? (After all, WMExperts.com thought it barely worth a mock-mention). Unlike Apple, aren’t Microsoft’s mobile offerings similar only in that both have the word “Windows” grafted in front of them? Nope. They’re also similar in terms of the minds driving them, the vision of the future those minds have, and the experience those visions seek to bring to us, the end users.

And right now both Windows Se7en and WinMob Se7en are driven by minds so drunk off their collectives posteriors that their futuristic visions are entirely consumer by 10 @#$%ing finger multi-touch paint.

Great Google-y Moogley: Android Gets Slightly Less Vapory!

Microsoft loses money on search, which is pretty much just a way to glue eyeballs to pages so said eyeballs can be blinded by flashing neon “hit the bouncing monkey!” banners. By contrast, Google’s bouncing monkey banners net them somewhere near 8 kazillion dollars a year. Likewise, while Microsoft’s busy showing off a 2010 desktop OS that really, truly hopes to be competitive with Apple’s 2007 mobile OS, Google is readying an iClone that may just ship this year!

Confession: We thought the Google Android demo was right skippy. Caveat: We though the exact same thing when Steve Jobs did it at Macworld 2007.

Memo to Google: We know your CEO, Dr. Evil… er… Eric sits on the Apple board of directors. We’ve heard he recuses himself from iPhone discussions to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest. Here’s a thought: how about avoiding the reality of one as well?

Apple is all about the paradigm shift. The command-line in your home with the Apple II. The GUI on your desktop with the Mac. Multi-touch in your hand with the iPhone. It’s what Apple does. The gloss, the shine — the boom.

You need to embrace what Google does. All white screens with nothing but search boxes. That’s what Google does. Forget about the overcrowded iClone market and embrace that. That’s your niche. That’s your Zen.

Circling the RIM: India’s Never-Ending Ultimatum

Yeah, we thought this had been resolved too. Seems India’s still demanding and RIM is still claiming it has a headache. Or whatever. Crackberry.com somehow retains the energy and interest to cover it. We just can’t stop snickering over the fact that it’s the Network Operations Center (NOC), pusher of all pushers, single-point-of-snooping, that let’s India push RIM so hard to begin with.

Big brother FTW!

So You Think You Can Smartphone?

Okay, so we’ve been giving the Treo 600… er… 800w a bit of a hard time around here. Fair point. Certainly opinions must vary, and much like we had special guest quotes from Windows Super Siter Paul Thurrott a few posts back, in the spirit of equal time we turn this segment over to TreoCentral uber-editor Dieter Bohn. Go ahead, boss. Tell us all how great the 600 v3 is:

Look at it. It looks cheap. It looks cheap. I’m like secretly hoping that this isn’t the final casing. That they have a secret casing and this is just the stuff they’re sending out to the beta testers. […] It doesn’t look professional.

I mean recessed screens are so 2003. Whatever. Right? […] The way it’s recessed looks chintzy. The soft buttons underneath the screen are just sort of randomly there. Nothing about it speaks like… It doesn’t speak like… to being solid or futuristic. […]

A business phone should project an aura of power. […] This is just not good looking. I’ve been saying for a long time now that this is the year you’ve got to cut Palm a ton of slack, and I’ve been cutting Palm a ton of slack, but this looks like cr@p. […]

It does not look great. This needs to look great. They should have one great phone this year and this does not look great. This looks the opposite of great. […]

I tell you what, [when This Week in Smartphone Schadenfreude put up an image of the Treo 600 as the Treo 800w] I didn’t notice. Somebody had to point out the joke to me.

Score!

For those truly interested in the complete, uncensored, Treo 800w curbing, check out the podcast (spoiler: in the name of all things merciful and nostalgic, Mike pulls Dieter off and holds him at bay until the Smithsonian can show up and cart off the mangle, circuit board-strewn corpse of the old girl. NOT for the squeamish).

And in No Other News

Speaking of maulings, some Executard or PR flack over at Samsung, in a fit of drunkful-thinking, shot up a release stating the notly anticipated L870 S60 slider (honestly, do they pull these names off of pseudo-random password generators?) would have not just a WebKit browser, but the full on iPhone Mobile Safari king-of-all-mobile browsers. Absent, you know, an OS, UI, or the basic design and engineering skills to support it.

Riiiiiiigggghhhhhttttt…

Back in April, we lamented that the month ended pretty much exactly where it started, 6 iPhone’s launched, 1 announced for Canada, 7 rumored around the rest of the globe, and not much else on the horizon.

Wow. What a difference a month makes!

Here we are at the end of May, and we have the same 6 launched, but an unbelievable 45+ countries/territories announced, presumably for the iPhone 3G, presumably in June following Apple’s WWDC and Steve Jobs’ scheduled Keynote.

What’s left for June? China? Japan? Russia? A roof-blowing “one more thing” announcement of the iPhone 3G being sold unlocked?

What do you think?

Unofficial end of May scorecard:

Launched: Austria (T-Mobile), France (Orange), Germany (T-Mobile), Ireland (O2), UK (O2), USA (AT&T)

Announced: Africa (Orange), Argentina (America Movil), Australia (Vodafone / SingTel), Austria (Orange), Belgium (Orange), Brazil (America Movil), Canada (Rogers), Chile (America Movil), Columbia (America Movil), the Czech Republic (Vodafone), Denmark (TeliaSonera), Dominican Republic (America Movil/ Orange), Ecuador (America Movil), Egypt (Vodafone / Orange), El Salvador (America Movil), Estonia (TeliaSonera), Finland (TeliaSonera), Greece (Vodafone), Guatamala (America Movil), Honduras (America Movil), Hong Kong SAR (Hutchison) India (Vodafone / SingTel), Italy (Vodafone / Telecom Italia), Jamaica (America Movil), Jordan (Orange), Latvia (TeliaSonera), Lithuania (TeliaSonera), Macao (Hutchison), Mexico (America Movil), New Zealand (Vodafone), Nicaragua (America Movil), Norway (TeliaSonera), Paraguay (America Movil), Peru (America Movil), Philippines (SingTel), Poland (Orange), Portugal (Vodafone / Orange), Puerto Rico (America Movil), Romania (Orange), Singapore (SingTel), Slovakia (Orange), South Africa (Vodafone), Switzerland (Swisscom / Orange), Turkey (Vodafone), Uruguay (America Movil)

Rumored: Netherlands (?),

Note: Extent of America Movil and Orange Africa deployment not yet fully detailed.

Back in our PhoneDifferent days (seems so long ago, no?) all of our sister websites (Crackberry.com, WMExperts, & TreoCentral) did a trial run of each Smartphone and offered thoughts and opinions about each one. It was an interesting experiment because each handheld got a unique look from the different smartphone userbases. Going along with our theme of “How to Fix the iPhone”, we’ve decided to bring back the Round Robin Links for you guys to see what Blackberry, Palm, and Windows Mobile users thought of our beloved device.

Long Live the King

Before we get started with the other folk’s take on the iPhone, it’s good to remember why the iPhone is the best device out there. Mike Overbo, Editor Emeritus, realizes that the iPhone isn’t perfect but has come to believe that the iPhone’s future is the biggest reason he switched. In this article, he takes a look at each device that participated in the Round Robin (Blackberry Curve, AT&T Tilt, and Treo 680) and gives an in-depth look at what’s good, bad, and where the iPhone can learn.

Read on for the rest of the links!

First Look, Final Review from Crackberry’s Kevin

Crackberry has been the butt of a lot of TiPb’s jokes/articles recently because it’s hilarious to poke fun of its shortcomings but honestly, the reality of it is: RIM is the Number 1 Smartphone Maker and they have proven that their devices matter to their users, therefore their users opinion’s matter to the rest of the Smartphone Industry. Kevin’s take on the iPhone is that it should have been called the iGadget and that the iPhone is great at everything the Blackberry is terrible at and vice versa.

First Look, Final Review from Jennifer Chappell of TreoCentral

Hey, Palm still exists? We kid, we kid. One of her biggest gripes about the iPhone was the lack of 3rd party apps, which is fair coming from a Palm user’s incredibly vast software selection. Luckily, that problem will be solved next month! Aside from that, she found the iPhone to be a great device–awesome UI, sweet web browsing, and just loved the overall experience. 

First Look, Final Review from WMexperts (and now TiPb’s) Dieter Bohn

Hey, looks like our good friend/editor has grown a bit and joined the greener/TiPb side since getting his hands on the iPhone. He realized that the iPhone is completely different from the Windows Mobile platform and came up with a hilariously great analogy.

Basically, my week with the iPhone was like a week at a posh resort - I wasn’t as connected as I usually am, I didn’t get very much done, but damn if I didn’t enjoy the view.

If you’re part of the WinMob and thinking of moving to the iPhone, you should read Dieter’s article for some advice and notes about the differences.

Overall, the Round Robin was a great idea to get each user community excited about another device. It gave the readers of each site well-informed looks of the devices that stepped away from the usual fanboy (or fangirl) speak. Hopefully, we can provide you guys with another Round Robin later this year with the iPhone 3G, Blackberry Bold, Sony XPERA X1, and Palm…wait the Treo 850 is a new device? I swear I saw that thing 5 years ago. Again, I kid. I kid.

[Note: Official $50 gift card says our readers can pick a better name than “Mobile Me”. See below for details!]

If you hear the steady sound of thumping, as though something were continuously bumping, that’s not the GPS industry going into cardiac arrest at the mere thought of the iPhone 3G’s specs, that’s tiPb’s collective heads as we knock them against our glass screened, glossy facaded, aluminum cased displays in abject terror of what Apple may be choosing to rename our loved-to-hated old .Mac service:

Mobile Me

Gotta be a typo, right? The name of the next funny character in an Austin Powers sequel (Brian)? An effort to steal the huge branding power Microsoft enjoyed with Windows ME (Dieter)?

Sadly, no. (And we thought Back-to-My-Mac was awkward…)

Dear Apple,

We, your loyal iPhone users, realize .Mac was fine for a label pre-.com bubble burst, and has desperately needed a fresh coat of paint ever since. We understand that you need to provide not only ActiveSync for business users, but similar email, contacts, and events “push”-style for consumers as well. We get that the service (perhaps) formerly-known as .Mac is an ideal launching pad for these features. And Jobs-knows that Windows users, your largest install base for iTunes, iPods, and iPhones, would be confused to the point of BSOD by something called .Mac.

But “Mobile Me”. Seriously?

Sure, iSync is taken by local sync features, and Microsoft using ActiveSync for both local and Exchange services is confusing to say the least, but what about Apple Sync? Worked for Apple TV, didn’t it? Okay, Gruber doesn’t like iMobile, but I’d humbly suggest it kicks the sync out of the horribly precious “Mobile Me”.

Please tell Steve that “Mobile Me” just isn’t Zen enough. Tell him it’s already something planned for the “Zune Social”. Or Nokia’s “Comes With Muzak”. Whatever. Anything. Because let’s face it, the line of better names than “Mobile Me” stretches around an Apple Flagship Store sized block a few times.

P.S. I bet the iPhone Blog readers could pick a better name (if not a couple hundred dozen better names). In fact, Dieter’s so sure he’ll pony up a $50 gift card to the reader who picks the best alternative to “Mobile Me” (to be judged by the blog’s staff).

Readers, have at it,

Apple, warmest namastes,

“Concerned Me”

Another day, another Apple patent. This one’s a biggie, the whole iPhone enchilada. Current functionality and future potentials (web clips? blogging app?) all rolled into one monstrous document, and all sitting beneath the top-tiered name of Steve Jobs. Yup. According the US Patent Office, El Jobso was the architect of the iPhone. And you know what that means!

[Carrier signal intercept…]

Upon first inspection, while preposterous, it remains equally irrefutable that recent filings, previously unrevealed but now extricated from the plethora of Apple applied patents, demonstrate undeniably, if indefensibly, that no mere hardware engineer, software programmer, or industrial designer envisioned the integral experience of multiple touch-based interface melded to gloss-black glass and immaculate aluminum. No. Only the One, Steven P. Jobs, through systematic application of unparalleled will, was and remains sole and primary architect of the harmonious singularity that is iPhone.

[Signal terminated…]

Hit the read link for the usual diagrams and verbiage.

Read

Confusion. Confusion. Did Steve Jobs say Apple would sell 10 million iPhones by the end of 2008, or during 2008?

What’s the diff? About 6 months and a 3+ million head start.

See, the first scenario means Apple has roughly 18 months — from the June 29th, 2007 release day to December 31st, 2008 — to move the 10 million units. The second scenario allows for just 12 months — from January 1st to December 31st, 2008 — to move the same number. Clear? No? Don’t worry. Even the Macalope is confused.

What’s interesting is that while the first scenario — the 18 months — does count the initial 6 month honeymoon surge of 3+ million, that ends up making continued sales a little more pessimistic — only 6+ million for the entire calendar 2008. The second scenario allows for increasing sales over time, something Apple and their shareholders no doubt expect as more countries, and 3G come online.

Speaking of dozens of more countries and a the most anticipated new gadget on the planet, Macworld’s Jason Snell sums up his thoughts for the 10 Million iPhone March thusly:

In my back-of-the-envelope exercise, Apple sells 10.2 million iPhones in calendar year 2008. And I stress, these are extremely conservative numbers. If I had to place a bet, I’d probably say that Apple will sell more like 2.2 million phones in the current quarter, more like 3 million in the following quarter, and five million in the holiday quarter. That guess adds up to almost 12 million iPhones in calendar year 2008.

Conservative is right. In fact, Apple is famous for being conservative, and they’re predicting “only” 10 million.

My opinion? iPhone 3G will be a monster.

What do you think?

Our iPhone App Wait-a-Thon has been a smashing success (once we get around to announcing the winners, that is. See the latest batch below). What’s that, you ask? Any time you see a post tagged “Wait-a-Thon,” any comment (with a legit email) is entered into that week’s drawing for a $100 iTunes Gift Certificate. We’re doing it to ease the pain of having to wait for Native Apps on the iPhone 2.0 software update. Go check out the full rules of the App Wait-a-Thon here, and you can always find the latest Wait-a-Thon opportunity here.

Of course, at the time we were expecting that the iPhone 3G would come much later. However, as recent rumors seem to show, it’s likely going to be coming much sooner than we expected. So here’s the deal: in addition to the weekly iTunes giveaway, we are going to give away an iPhone 3G once it’s available!

After the break - the details on how to enter to win the iPhone 3G and winners of a bunch of App Wait-a-Thon contests. Read on!

How to win the iPhone 3G

It’s simple, really. Just head on over to our newly-launched iPhone Blog Forum and register. If you’ve ever made a post back at the old Phone different forums, there’s a good chance we managed to pull your registration over already — just check out the member’s list to find out.

Once you’ve registered, just make 20 posts between now and the day the iPhone 3G becomes available in retail. Your posts must all be iPhone-related and not just “filler.” We reserve the right to disqualify a post based on our own whims of what is and is not filler, so err on the side of being interesting, mmkay?

The day after the iPhone 3G is released, we’ll do a random drawing based on all the users who have posted at least 20 times between now and the release and give that lucky winner an iPhone 3G. When will that be? We don’t exactly know (signs point to June 19th), which is what makes this Wait-a-Thon-Tastic.

What were waiting for again? Get to iPhone Blog Forum and get talking!

More iPhone App Wait-a-Thon Winners

Without further ado, these folks are getting their $100 iTunes gift certificates in their inboxes over the weekend:

• topolina
• Bad Ash
• NPR_aficionado
• gadgetluva
• cmaier
• Kevin Mauzey
• Ed

Okay, so technically Apple isn’t patenting “Spidey Sense” (TM Marvel Comics, of course), but a system to warn users of impending dropped signals, be they cellular or WiFi.

So, by way of example, if I called Steve Jobs to tell him I snapped a pick of the iPhone 3.0 prototype, and Rogers’ service began to cut out, I’d get a notification (sound, alert dialog, or vibe) warning me I was going to lose the signal, and on his end, El Jobso would likewise be alerted.

If my device happened to have an accelerometer and GPS (hello, iPhone 3G!), location, velocity, etc. could be weighed into the alert equation. So, if I was driving away from Cupertino at a hurried rate, spy shots in hand, the iPhone could factor that into calculating how long it would be until I lost signal.

In a second filing, Apple is also working on a way to find lost, Blue Tooth equipped devices, from currently equipped gear like headsets, to tiny BT enabled chips placed on anything from your keys to your kids.

Again, using different data sets like signal strength, the iPhone could figure out which direction and at what distance the missing item (or small human) is located, using helpful cues like volume and frequency of alerts to re-create the classic game of “cold… warm… warmer… hot… on FIRE!”

Check the read link for all the official diagrams and verbiage.

Read

Are you an avid magazine reader? Do you look at your iPhone and think that it’d be the perfect device to read digital magazines? Well, Zinio Mobile Newsstand for the iPhone offers such digital magazines in high-resolution glory. With loads of popular magazines in tow, Zinio Mobile Newstand gives iPhone users a free look at issues that typically cost anywhere from $5 to $10.

How does it perform? Can you actually read anything?

Read on for the rest of the review!

Design/Interface

Pointing your Safari Web Broswer to www.zinio.com/iphone will display a newsstand-like interface complete with popular magazines such as US News & World Report, Men’s Health, Popular Mechanics, PC Magazine, Elle, and Car & Driver. Even some adult magazines are included such as Playboy & Penthouse. The selection has recently been bolstered by the addition of some international magazines as well.

Overall the design and interface is simple and clear. Touch the magazine you’re interested in reading and you’ll be able to read it in its entirety. There are two different ways to read the magazines and it is similar to its real-life counterpart. You can choose to flip through it page-by-page to see if anything catches your eye in a less-slick form of CoverFlow, or you can click the contents button and select an article that you may have interest in through the magazine’s digital table of contents. Either way works perfectly fine.

Usability

I found the ‘digital table of contents’ to be very useful. In a real magazine, it’s a chore to even find the table of contents. It’s become such a painstaking process sifting through seemingly thousands of advertisements to find that cover story. In Zinio, the interface is much better because by using the provided ‘contents’ button, users can easily digitally ‘jump’ to the article of interest.

I found flipping through the magazine to be less effective because the pages aren’t exactly readable from a bird’s eye view. Meaning, you’re mostly looking for headlines and pictures that attract you since the text isn’t quite yet rendered. Once you hit a page of interest, a simple tap would load up the entire page in the window. You can’t double-tap to zoom in because the page is already ‘best fit’. Zinio claims users are able to zoom in as much as 300%. To go to the next page, you can click the arrows or click on ‘Issue’ to see it in the CoverFlow-esque layout once again.

Speed-wise, Wi-Fi is slower than it usually is with other websites. Most likely due to the high-resolution shots of each page, there is a lot of data to load and render. What is surprising however, is that EDGE-speeds don’t totally inhibit the usability of Zinio Mobile Newstand. The pages load slower, to be sure, but it wasn’t as drastic a difference as some web sites usually are. Wi-Fi speed is always better, but don’t be afraid to fire up Zinio Mobile Newsstand when you aren’t near a hotspot.

Criticism

Aside from the non-rendered text in Zinio’s ‘CoverFlow’, I believe that the Newsstand portion of this web-app can be made better by notifying the user the date of each Magazine. For example, if US News & World Report just released an issue, a simple ‘New!’ or June Edition can allow users to more effectively determine which magazines to read. With magazines like Men’s Health, which seemingly look alike from month to month, it’d be a subtle but important feature to add.

Zinio would also be better served if they could create an actual application for 2.0. I found myself trying to flick the screen to move on to the next screen but remembered I was trapped in Safari and had to use the available ‘buttons’. Hopefully, Zinio can add these features and maintain the current cost of the web app, which is, FREE.

Final Thoughts

What’s great about Zinio Mobile Newsstand is that it offers real, live magazines for you to read. These aren’t webzines nor the magazine’s web sites, but the exact copy you would find on your newsstand—for free!

The high resolution shots take a while to load, to be sure, but the quality of the pages are worthwhile. Every picture is crip and the text is readable. Using both landscape and portrait mode also adds to the versatility of this web app. I would suggest everyone to point their browsers to www.zinio.com/iphone to take a look at this great web app.

PROS:

• Magazines in its entirety
• High Resolution Pages
• Simple, Intuitive Interface
• Variety of Selections

CONS:

• Text isn’t readable in ‘CoverFlow’ mode
• Even Wi-Fi is a little slow
• No notification of ‘What’s New’ or which edition it is
• Trapped by Safari

FINAL RATING: 4.8/5

Are you guys familiar with BioShock? It was an amazing first person shooter that released for the Xbox 360 and PC. As one of the best games of 2007, it created a beautiful story through deep emotional connection and stunning visuals. And guess what. It’s coming to the iPhone.

Yes, that’s not a typo. It hasn’t even been ported to a portable gaming machine yet but it is coming to the iPhone. Who knows how well it can translate to a mobile device, but this shows how much faith developers have in the iPhone. Note: A 2D version is also going to be released for mobile devices that can’t handle the full 3D Game. I’m looking at you Blackberry. =)

I couldn’t find a video for you guys but folks are saying that it looks spectacular. No one has actually given gameplay a twirl yet so the controls can’t be spoken for, but the video shown to a few insiders was rendered on the iPhone itself.

So who’s NOT excited about gaming on the iPhone?

ReadVia